If you are a working mom you’ve experienced the guilt that bites you from time to time. And you often wonder, whether all moms feel the same work-life balance stress the same way you do. And no matter where ever you are, at home with kids, or at work, you always feel you should have been somewhere else, doing something more productive.
According to the Pew Research center survey, 18% of part-time working moms and 11% of stay at home moms feel guilty for not spending time with their kids.
But it’s high time for you to realize that you had kids to enrich your life and not to feel inadequate forever.
Below are five ways that will help you get over the time-wasting working mom guilt moments.
1. Blindly following the rules is wrong
Just because you have many mothers in your life, you have made a set of rules of what makes a good mother.
And when you fail to meet those expectations, you end up feeling guilty.
For example, if you see a super successful and an organized mom you start questioning your methods. But, what I have learned so far is that one should make rules based on their circumstances. As that will allow yourself to give permission as to what will work for you and your family.
2. Please ask for help
One of the most common mistakes we all make as a woman is to not ask for help. Instead, we fuel our stress by trying to do it all by ourselves which turns out to be a tedious experience.
So take my advice and from next time, ask for help. It will make your job easy and people around you will start doing the same. Try reaching out to your friends, your in laws, your parents, your carpool parents, etc. This way it will benefit everyone and cut down the self inflicted guilt.
3. Understand from other’s perspective
When you're having a conversation with an anti-working woman, remember, they are speaking based on their experience. And before getting offended, ask yourself, “Where is their comment coming from? What experience of her life made her believe that? Did she put her career on hold when she had kids?” This will make it clear for you, that the decisions she took were right for her, but not necessarily the right thing for you to do.
4. You “can” spend more time with your kids
If your guilt of not spending enough time with your kids is biting you. Then there are a couple of things you can do to overcome that feeling. You can pull your son out of daycare for that day and go for a trip. Make sure to put your cell phone down so you can enjoy some quality time. Also, if your child is sick or his school trip gets cancelled, try to cherish that time with each other.
5. Know that nothing lasts forever
Time flies! You need to remember that all this guilt that you're facing now will disappear in a few years. Your kids will grow up and won’t be craving for the same attention they require now. You will stop feeling forgetful and start getting a full night sleep. And you will have plenty of time for the promises you made with your children.
Also, it’s better to accept that as humans we do miss out on a couple of things. And that’s okay! No one has it all. And who knows what the future might come up with.
Maybe in the next few years you might have a job with flexible hours, so you can be home more. So stay positive and hope for the best.